I got a year to lose all fear

Cause they said fear-mongering makes disciples of children

I want a million or maybe a zillion

Cause I can only depend on myself

So forgive me: I burn bridges

And piss in sewers

I’m no Ferris Bueller

More like an incel always ready to rebel

With one year to change it all

There isn’t much to say

If I go to shrift, I would ask the priest to commit suicide for my sins

Like the son of man did willfully

Rain droplets hid the tears, but snowflakes make them freeze in place

Like a brain riddled by PTSD, every traumatizing event is at a standstill

While under the spotlight of the mind’s eye

Reminiscent of days before my imagination died

Or the weeks before my uncle expired from cancer

Years of veins pumped with prescribed poison leaving his hope fried

Surely that ‘medicine’ wasn’t the answer,

but the doctors got paid nonetheless

foiled

I would take a bullet for them

But they were behind the trigger

I gargled their venom

they booed before spewing phlegm

I made myself small so that they could feel bigger

But in spite, all they said was ‘good! Now let’s finish this and kill him’