Freedom

I am just a full tank and a used car away from freedom

I am done fighting in this coliseum

Masquerading as a city.

I be gone faster than a blink of an eye

Which is faster than when my father left me without saying goodbye.

I consider that high treason Against his own kin.

I am having the same bitter nightmares again

I am running from the same life experiences

that keep getting digested in my mind.

I am gone, off to find

My paradise. Yes, I am taking a gamble like betting on a pair of dice.

I am not taking any one else’s advice

I’ll do it on my own and chase after my fleeting dreams

I may be coming apart at the seams

But I am staying the course

I’ll get where I am going by foot, boat, or even horse.

Abyss

I wish I was numb

No, instead make me dumb

To this world and my social problems

Cause as I grow my awkwardness blossoms

Resulting in me losing all my friends

I feel like my soul got the bends

As I sink deeper into this abyss

The water is cold

This life is getting old

I am letting down everyone by each passing day

Why did it have to be like this

Why couldn’t I be socially normal

And be embraced by society like a thermal

Blanket to keep the cold from sinking in

Instead I am lost in the abyss

Freezing as I dehisce

My feelings to the nothingness surrounding me

Flow

A lot of times I don’t make sense

Cause I am more than a few cents

Short of a dollar. That means my commonsense

Is warped: I pray for tragedy and cry when I succeed

I am always on the fence

Unable to decide if I want to be naughty or nice

I could drown you in a sea of my sorrow

Or easily harden your heart like god did the pharaoh

I have no god, so I have to declare to my enslavers to “Let me go.”

It is all about keeping with the flow

In life and in a poem. Each line in a poem I want to burrow

To your soul and cause ease.

Each second of my life I want to be motivational and not just appease

March on

March on dear soldier

I know the weight of the world is on one shoulder

And a chip the size of a bolder

On the other. But still march on

During the daytime and at night. To your past you are gone

Forever and your wounds you will suture

Shut while marching to your future.

A little positivity P.2

It’s all in your head.

You have to comprehend that before you are dead

The beginning of bliss

And its end is all in how you reminisce

I know you try so hard

But playing each card

You have been dealt requires patience

Play the game and be gracious

Clear you mind, make it spacious

By letting go of past pain

Stay in your lane

And keep your plans plain

When you succeed you won’t regret what you attain

another sad poem…

I don’t want to write a poem

Today because I am feeling like an ill built golem

That is destined to break.

It seems it will take an earthquake

To shake these stupid thoughts out my mind.

To the future I am blind

But hindsight is 20/20 so I know I have always been behind

the cool kids.

I would offer my life up for bids

Just to end this nightmare and rid

Myself…of myself.

What would it take for me to excel and propel

Myself to something more than this.

I don’t think I ever known bliss

And certainly never been privy to a lover’s kiss

Anyway, this is just another sad poem from the abyss

What goes around…

If what goes around comes around

Does that mean I am bound

By destiny? Furthermore, is life a battleground

Where each shot hit is a shot coming back around?

This might be unsound,

But I wish destruction on people who have hurt me

Yes, I know the hefty fee

Of doing that: “judge not lest you be judged”

But for each emotional wound I have I feel a painful grudge.

Some say the wounded are the most vicious and lost in a sludge

Of bitterness.

But how do you judge not in this world: a technological wilderness

Where it’s human eat human with near complete indifference

And such cannibalistic tactics are a sign of healthy vigorousness.

Raging Ocean

I am like a ship sailing atop a raging ocean

The high waves are thrashing, hindering my motion

I have a destination in mind: to it I have great devotion.

No, not any port in a storm will satisfy

I am predestined for greatness by and by

Yet these waves are getting bigger and I miss the blue sky

The storm is surging as though I am the bad guy

Getting cursed for evil deeds or maybe that is just my conscience

Playing tricks on me.

Am I my generation’s new face of failure. Such thoughts take all my glee

Some may think I am just lost at sea

But I have a destination in mind that I will get to at any fee

And it shall be, I decree.

Heavy heart

My uncle has cancer

The thought of it gives me a heavy heart

I want to do my part

But in the end there isn’t much I can do but mend my bleeding heart

My depression I try to outsmart

With meditation and a flirtation with a monk mentality

Though a lot of times I feel my thoughts are a product of an abnormality

Because on the outside I show great cordiality

But inside my animality

Is wild and uncaged. These thoughts if acted on could lead me to police booking.

I have D.I.D that means multiple personalities all clashing and looking

To take the reins.

The inharmonious personalities are like the colliding of multiple hurricanes.

Anyway, I carry this heavy heart everywhere

One day I will lighten my load, I swear.

A lot going on

There is a lot going on

I wake up every day way before dawn

The negative thoughts start as soon as I wake

Sometimes I feel like my consciousness is in an oven on bake

Because I feel these thoughts are dried up from consistent recollection

I know the beginning and end of each memory in near perfection

When she left I wanted to call for a ref in order to announce a foul

How could she walk out my life like a pilot dejected from a crashing

Jet. I feel every friend has left me like a person cashing

Out on an annoying debt. My conscience has clashing

Ideals that tussle and hustle for superiority.

I look for work during the day; it’s my main priority

Yet each rejection leads to a heavier sense of inferiority.

My appetite is out of control; gluttony has supreme authority

I munch as a way to ease the emotional turmoil

I feel like I am spinning in place

As I hide in my subspace:

my apartment.